After a whirlwind weekend with Sir, my day has been filled with a void. A sense of emptiness, as my mind and body shift back to the state of reality. i've been here before but just as the intensity of Our relationship increases, the aftershock is much deeper.
My mind races through the simple touches, the looks, the quiet moments as well as the smells, tastes, kisses, and the physical surges we experience. i am so grateful to have Him in my life. i don't think he truly knows the feelings i have for Him.
Each time we are together we take each other to darker rooms, more intense experiences (mentally, emotionally, physically and spiritually). It is knowing this, that makes me crave Him even more.
i told Him this weekend that i have finally come to terms with the concept of being a "boy." He knows i have struggled with this for over a year. Yes, i have felt dominated. i have been submissive. i have wanted Him to take control...but i have never felt comfortable being a man, to be called a boy. But i now know that the label of the identity is my role and my responsibility with Him. It is a form of validating my position to serve Him. And yes, i cringed and sometimes visibly shook, when He called me "His boy." i have allowed myself to accept this. And i feel so complete in doing so.
Respectfully,
hijo
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