Last Sunday, Sir told me he wanted a boi/boy. In the spectrum of our relationship it was a desire He wanted (but at the opposite end of our relationship) - someone to take care of his household needs yet available for His physical pleasure. He wanted a houseboy. In talking to Him over the past few days - i expressed the sadness, anger, unworthiness i was feeling...i had been exposed to a desire i could not offer Him. i am not in the position to become a live-in boi/boy.
As part of my frustration, i felt as if Sir was not allowing me the chance or opportunity to even try to fulfill some of his desires of having a boi/boy. Again in talking with Him, it is not about having a young pup serve him, it is about the ownership and serving that He desires. On Sunday He mentioned that He envisioned a boy/boi sleeping on the floor...yet He never once has told me of this want before, nor has He ever instructed me to sleep on the floor when i am with Him.
Since then, we both have created lists of desires, fantasies, needs and wants. We have combined our lists together - grouping them into categories...B/d D/s and S/m. Sir is actually working through the list - prioritizing the items. He is also putting me on a schedule - controlling more of my daily routines and assigning me deadlines. When the schedule is complete, i would like to post my roster on this site...of course, with His permission.
Lesson of this week, learned by both of us, for any relationship to succeed and grow there is a fundamental need to communicate and constantly communicate freely. Sir apparently was concerned about the risk of impacting our relationship if He shared His desires...yet by doing so, i think he may be pleased that there is a lot more i can offer him than he initially realized.
Will keep you up-to-date more frequently as part of my schedule it to create postings on a regular basis.
Respectfully His,
hijo
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